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Recently, I went on a hike with the manager of a flourishing start-up. On our hike, he confessed he was uncertain about his future at his company. At the start of his business endeavor, he felt aligned with the mission and goals of the company, but now he felt disconnected and struggling because he couldn't see himself long-term at this business anymore. How could he have invested so much of his time and energy into this business and now feel so separated?
After listening to him, I asked him one question: What are your values? He paused, looked out over the horizon, and threw his hands up in the air and smiled down at his feet. He didn't have an answer.
For days after our hike, our conversation followed me around. I couldn't shake the feeling that I wanted to offer more advice, better advice. If I could have repeated the conversation, I would have told him this:
Our values inform our thoughts, words and actions and you must know yours. Your values are everything you believe is important from the way you live your life, to how you enjoy your work and how you find inspiration in the mundane. Values determine your priorities, what you eagerly spend your energy on and what you decline. When you know your values, you can claim them and when the way you behave matches your core values, life feels pleasant and effortless because you're living an authentic life. Knowing your values means you know yourself and the path you're meant to be on.
We all value different things. What I value isn't necessarily what you value. For example, in my life, I value freedom, fitness, getting paid for my time, talents, expertise and worth, my family and being a good role model for my kids, fun and lightness and cultivating an impactful future. Those are my values. Can you name yours?
Values Aren't Free
It's true. Values come with a price-tag, a personal one. You must feel they are so important that you will stand up for them without reservation. Strong values become the cornerstones in your life, creating structure even when their strength is tested.
Principals seem easy to construct, but the ones that stand the test of time matter not because they're morally right, but because you feel them. You must have a personal connection with your values. If you're self-aware, it's easy to know when you're not in alignment with your personal values because that's when things feel wrong. You look at yourself as an outsider and you no longer feel happy or content. You might search for the source of the unhappiness, but the quest is futile because until you know your true values, you'll wander aimlessly in the wrong direction.
This is why making a conscious effort to identify your values, not those that others believe you should have, is so important. Values play a role in all aspects of our lives even when we don't recognize them. Digging deep to find your core values feels good and honors who you really are.
Can Values Change?
The only thing constant is change. In my opinion, values are usually fairly stable, yet they don't have strict limits or boundaries. As you move through life, your values may change. For example, when you start your career, success—measured by money and status—might be a top priority. After you have a family, work-life balance may be what you value more than status and wealth.
As your definition of success changes, so do your personal values. This is why keeping in touch with your values is a lifelong exercise. You should continuously revisit them, especially if you feel unbalanced and you can't quite figure out why. As you reevaluate your values, being honest and gentle with yourself, you might recognize that what you valued in the past isn't relevant now.
Are you feeling stressed? Do you seem angry or discontent to others? Do you feel like your energy levels have drained? These are signs that you need to sit down with yourself and reexamine your priorities and values.
We all stare out over a metaphorical horizon at various points in our careers and personal lives, questioning our paths. That is to be human and evolving, growing our values as we grow and making adjustments when we get off track. The deeper understanding we have of how values play a role in our lives, the easier it is to align with what makes us feel good and achieve amazing success!
So, let me ask you one more time. What are your values?
"can" - Google News
November 11, 2019 at 08:53AM
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Can You Name Your Values? - Forbes
"can" - Google News
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